Tuesday, July 31, 2007

My New Reality

Last night I was going to the bathroom when all three kids started banging on the door, yelling Mo-mmm--ee. They were yelling crying, throwing fits when Scott came over and said, "what's going on?" Abegail replied, Mommy in there. Scott said, yea, so. She in there! She in there! Scott calmly replied, she's going to the bathroom. They looked at him like yea, so? He continued, do you think she wants to be bothered now? None of them understood. Of all the things African children who are adopted need, the greatest is love and constant attention and if you're a four year old boy to be held all the time except for when you are taking off your clothes to poop. Sorry to be so blunt, but I have never cleaned up so much poop since my new children arrived and still I cannot get a stool sample for the doctor. What is wrong with this picture? Annie got sent home from daycare because of bathroom issues today. What is a mother to do?
I have learned more about my husband since my kids got home than in 6 years. He is a way better parent than I am. He is more patient, they listen to him, they actually do what he says. He can get them to bed. He doesn't lose his cool. Maybe its just that he's had more sleep than me, maybe he is less obsessed with his 'to do' list, maybe he just understands the wee wee issue better than I ever will.
African children have no concept of saving the environment, everywhere I go there is a TV, a light, and definitely a faucet left on. We get out of the bath sopping wet and get back in and get out and leave the tub to overflow with the water running. It's electricity, are they making up for the lifetime they haven't had it?
Liberian children can yell louder and farther than an entire cheerleading squad combined. I could be at the neighbors with a Wal Mart going up next door and the lawn mower running and still here the sound, Momm--eee!!! I'll say, what? Huh??? We are definitely trying to get them to learn my new two favorite words, "excuse me?" Everything is Huh??? I asked Abegail, "are you starting to understand me better? She said, Huh???? Guess not.
I have my moments where I think, who's idea was this? Why on earth was I so cocky I thought I could do this. I always said it will be chaos. Did I not know what chaos was? Then I have these moments where I think we are getting better, we can do this. The kids are so loving, so beautiful, have so much potential. And then I smell it, more poop on the bathroom floor.


Janie said...

So sorry about those "stinkers". Think of it as the years you missed changing the early diapers...

Way to go Scott! What a guy, easy to trace Annie's natural ease and grace. Can you teach more how to get more of that parenting widsom and patience? I'm with Sue, obsessed with the 'to do list. Thank goodness we have great husbands to balance us out, keep us laughing while our 3 kids nearly throw us over the deep end!

Cheering you on (and sharing your parenting pain)

Anonymous said...

I am happy that you thought to adopt. But why not an american child? There are plenty of children in America that need good homes?

Nancy said...

I told you I can cook and do laundry, but I'm also pretty good with 'stinkers.' Help is on the way!
Love to all,

Anonymous said...

I know the day to day stuff has to be frustrating AND I know you both are doing fine. You are a good combination. I pray that you can keep the big picture in mind of what a wonderful thing you are doing for these children, and that includes Annie and educating the rest of us. You guys are great. Wish we were closer to give you some help. Also wish you were closer, you could move some shelves and inventory. Ha. Love you all. Mom R.

Richardson Family said...

There certainly ARE many American children who need adoptive families. The difference is, American orphans have running water, electricity, access to SOME health care and A CHANCE. These children barely have hope before they're adopted.

That said, your anonymous comment is well-taken...hopefully you've found a place in your home for some of the American children you speak of.

Tammy said...

Excellent response to "anonymous". To say that all the children in the U.S. have everything in this life that they need would be an irresponsible comment on my part. The fact is there are ignored and forgotten children in our country. However, America has the resources to take care of these children when they are discovered.
I appauld what your family have chosen to taken on. My sister, Valerie, is in the process of bring Junior home to the U.S. Our family supports her adoption of Junior 100%. I know she will also experiences challenges in parenting this little boy she has already given her heart to. It's nice to know she has gained such a wonderful support system in all the families who are bringing the orphaned children of Liberia into their homes and existing families.
Best wishes, you have a beautiful family. Tammy