Friday, December 21, 2007

Dear Santa; UPDATED

A fellow adoptive mother wrote my letter to Santa for me. It's perfect!
Dear Santa,

Becoming a new mother of an adopted African child has challenged me on several occasions to remain a good girl this year. Like the time when I had to remove my child kicking and screaming from a store after he had thrown his coat several times, poked holes in the meat packages with his fingers, and told me “NO” defiantly. Despite many challenges like these I do feel I have been a good girl.

My wish this year is pretty simple…

• I wish for the light switch to remain in the position I placed it, at least a couple of times a day.
• I wish to not have to wrench the flusher on the toilet out of his hands every time we enter any bathroom.
• I wish for just 10 minutes each day to elapse without hearing the bleating cry “Mommy come”.
• I wish to be able to take a shower or use the toilet without an audience.
• I wish that the term Mommy-O could be used in a fun manner and not just in the midst of shear meltdown as I would find this endearing and quite cute under the proper circumstances.
• I wish for all hand dryers to be made the same in public restrooms to eliminate the curiousity as this would be a definite time saver for me.
• I wish that I could stand and walk without having to drag my child with my body or feet. I realize this may be a tall request and so I would even be happy to simply have him stop clinging to my butt and pulling on my clothes.
• I wish for more singing and dancing and less meltdowns.
• I wish on two nights of every week to sleep in my bed and he in his all the way through the night. Even one would be okay if this is too much to ask.
• I wish for fellow adoptive mothers who have already brought their children home to be granted all of the above too as I am certain they would be oh so grateful. For those that are still in the process I wish for them to be spared the need to develop this list next year.

Mostly, I wish for him to be happy with his new home and new family.

I'm using another Mom's letter to Santa. Plagiarism is totally allowed for Moms. I don't want to waste any energy writing to Santa, I need it for getting the kids in and out of the car and trying not to tape their mouths shuts when they whine.

Dear Santa, (by Lisa)

I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes: I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze; but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store. I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy. If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone. On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools. I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother," because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog. If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.

If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family. Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back.

Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch cold. Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours Always, MOM...!

P.S. One more can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.


Anonymous said...

Lovely picture of the family.
Alomiza says to tell Abegail to stay in America, America has good food, sweet food with chicken.

RUTH said...

I came back again today to read your blog, unwisely started at the beginning and somehow the afternoon I was supposed to get a million things done in before my kids came home from school has just evaporated. This time you made me laugh until I cried.