Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Meet Alice: Our Newest Member of the Family


Mommy's minivan mobile, was not doing so well. He made loud noises when you turned him on, he did not like going up hills, his brakes grinded to the floor, the Minnesota winters showed its wear and tear so much that you could actually see the outside through the rust. When E-man or I kicked it, metal came crashing to the ground. Plus it smelled like old soccer cleats.
Last Thursday Scott went on the search for a new minivan that would be fitting for a soccer mom. He found one and appropriately after soccer practice all five us headed to the dealership.
He let me drive it there but as we got to the dealership he informed me, "I don't think you are allowed to drive it yet so you'll have to take it on a pretend test drive." OK Scott, you might have told me that before I turned all the stations to country music. But this is minor in the whole process. Close your eyes and imagine Emmanuel in a car show room.
"Mommy, look at that truck, look at the jeep, look at that car, you see those tires?"
The manager is trying to make it quick, "we have a deal?"
But Emmanuel will not let this deal be done, "Mommy ask him how much the pick-up truck is?" It was bright, shiny red, a beautiful pick-up truck if I don't say so myself.
The manager is trying to tell us how great Alice is how much she will retain her value even with 67-thousand miles....but...MOMMY, ASK THE MAN HOW MUCH THE PICK-UP TRUCK IS??
Excuse me, I bring E-man over to the pick-up. "E-man, it's $45,528." E-man tells me he has six dollars. "Do I have enough?" he asks. "Uh, almost I say, you just need $45,522 more dollars. "Is that a lot?" he asks. "Yes and then you'll have to save up for taxes, title, and licensing fees. You do have insurance right?" E-man wants to climb in the truck, maybe if the salesman sees how good he looks in it... just keep playing soccer and some day you can buy the red pick-up truck.
We continue to negotiate with the manager. I say, "will you give us something for our van?" He says, "how many miles are on it?" I said, "167,000." "Does the air conditioner work?" "Yes." That's all he asked. He says, "Cosco closes in eight minutes so we have a deal but I'm taking a gamble on your van."
"Uh, yes you are," I say.
Then comes the finance part. It takes a long time these days and wherever we go we are not quiet. A sales lady walks by and I say, "I bet you know what car we're buying, a convertible!" She looks at me sadly, "or a minivan," I say.The finance guy takes twice as long because Emmanuel is asking if he can drive the guy's computer. We were in there so long we finally decided to take a picture. What an endearing (translation: obnoxious) family we must be.
Finally we are able to leave with Alice. Abegail has named Alice, after her mom. She says then her mom will be with us wherever we go. I told her so will Daddy's grandmother. That was her name too.
Alice has such a sweet disposition. She plays movies and the kids don't talk when we go places. Her doors close with a push of the button. And when you step on her brakes she stops.
As we are leaving the sweet sales guy goes to turn on my van. The gas light and check engine light had come on as I pulled into the dealership. There were leftover granola bars and Halloween candy around it not to mention dirt from most of the soccer fields in Fairfax County. I yelled out, "I'm sorry." He started laughing, "that's OK, just enjoy that new van. Oh we will!" C'mon Alice, take us home.
Quotes from Annie:
A: Mommy, how old is Alice?
M: She is four, she was born in 2005
A: Hi car, I'm five.
Hear No Evil See No Evil:
We are having a banner year when it comes to the hearing and seeing screenings at school:
Annie can't see, Abegail can't hear, and E-man can't see or hear. Unfortunately none of the kids are mute.

6 comments:

gretchen said...

Oh I love it! When I saw the post title I was thinking it must be a dog or some other kind of animal to which I was thinking you are now certifiably insane, but a new van is an awesome addition. I love Abegail's rationale in naming her Alice and I hope it lives to be very old for you.

Bob, Carie, Taylor, Opie and Friday said...

Alice, it's perfect! Tell E-Man a few more years of mowing and he might be able to get that truck :)

crynchek said...

Sue so happy about the new van. Gotta love those power doors.

The Googeg's said...

You are far better at naming cars than we are. We have the Big Red and the Green Machine.

I hope Alice trucks many miles for you.

DEB

Valerie said...

You know I am not sure my life would be complete without Eman stories!!! Optimus Prime and Bubblebee can't wait to meet Alice!!!

Anonymous said...

I love the name you came up with Abegail. That's the best name and best reason I've ever heard. May angels watch over you! Grandma R.